How Not to Die in Marriage: A Darkly Funny Survival Guide for Husands Who Want to Live to See Their Anniversary
By: Some Guy Who's Still Alive (For Now)

Marriage is supposed to be about love, trust, and growing old together.
But lately? It’s starting to look a lot like a true-crime documentary.

How Not to Die in Marriage is a hilarious, sharp, and unsettlingly real survival guide inspired by real-life cases where “till death do us part” was taken a little too literally.

Blending dark humor with eye-opening patterns from modern relationships, this book exposes the subtle red flags, suspicious behaviors, and emotional warning signs that too many people ignore — right before everything goes horribly wrong.

It’s not about paranoia.
It’s about awareness (and maybe skipping that mystery smoothie).

Whether you’re happily married, slightly suspicious, or just addicted to true crime stories, this book will make you laugh, cringe, and look at marriage very differently.

✅ Inside You'll Discover
* The common warning signs found in real spousal crime cases
* Relationship behaviors that quietly escalate into danger
* Why modern marriages are snapping instead of separating
* Darkly funny insights you won’t hear in couples therapy
* How to trust your gut before it becomes a headline

🕵️ Perfect for fans of true crime, dark comedy, and brutally honest relationship books.

This isn’t a guide about date nights and love languages.
It’s the guide that asks the real question:

Is your marriage healthy — or just one bad episode away from Netflix fame?

Because loving your spouse is important.
But surviving marriage is essential.